May 2, 2013

May 14, 2013
Over 90 degrees.
At work, a co-worker informed me the only month there hasn’t been snow in Minnesota (since recording weather began), was July.
I saw this on my cousin’s FB wall, she had seen it on her friends. Just being up front, I totally stole it.
1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. True.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. False for me…I love finding out I’m wrong…it means I get to learn and grow. Fine, go throw up away from me.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. 1,000,000 TRUE!!
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. Have I not said this?
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? There is no right way. I ball it up and throw it in the closet. Judge away.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? Disagree with this. I think our handwriting is significantly influenced by our practice of both printing and cursive. I fear our children’s handwriting is gong to be so terrible as they will only write by typing.
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. Well it would be good if there was that option, as when I’m leaving from an unfamiliar house I do appreciate #1-5. Just sayin’.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Ooooh, yuck. Definitely disagree with this!
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired. True story.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. Sometimes good decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. Yep.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. YES PLEASE!!!
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. For sure!
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. I can neither confirm or deny that I agree with this. Except I do. Agree, that is.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Right?!?!?!
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. Yep, hate those commercials. If they were true, my husband and I have been doing the kissing thing wrong. Not one was started by Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. I disagree with this and find it racist and ignorant. That’s what I have to say about that.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. Agreed.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? Do this all the time!
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Never have seen this happen. However, I would like to enter a caveat as the person who’s been this “jerk.” if you have license plate from another state, you should get immunity.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. My pants are 2 years old and I’ve never washed them. Not once. I think it’s just coincidence that dogs follow me around.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. Yea, I don’t do snooze. Josh does though…it is on my list of things I put up with because I love him so much.
23. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. TRUE STORY!!
There are no words to say that make sense out of this tragedy so I would like to share some of what I’ve seen in the past week that reminds me how proud I am to be human.
I have a special connection to Boston. My sister always dreamed of going to Harvard and though she ended up at Wellesley college, in a suburb of Boston, (we almost disowned her, what a disappointment, it’s where underachievers like Hillary Clinton go) and I visited her many times there. At the very least, a large part of my sisters’ heart resides there and therefore, so does mine.
Also, I can’t imagine a worse tragedy for runners at the end of a marathon than to lose their life or a limb.
Boston. Fucking horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it with humanity.”
But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”
After the Westboro “Baptist Church” said it would picket the funerals of those killed at the Boston Marathon (and blamed same-sex marriage for the attacks), Anonymous “brandjacked” their FB page, with epic results, seen here.
There was much of this going around and I loved seeing it every time:
Jen from over at Sprite’s Keeper was quoted by her husband as saying (and I couldn’t agree more)…
“Chechnyan, Muslim, Martian, an asshole is an asshole no matter where your birthplace is.” -Jennifer Cohen
I have had a lot of doctor appointments recently as they’ve been checking out my inflamed optic nerve. Josh kept asking me about the amount of time I was taking off from work. I had an invasive test and he was trying to convince me to go into work before and after the test.
Me: No.
Commenced giving him the silent treatment.
Josh: You’re not really mad at me, you’re just anxious about your appointment.
It’s like he doesn’t know me at all, like we haven’t been married for 8 years…