Dear Finn-Month 3

This has been another trying month in our family. As someone else expressed, you are the light through this difficult time. As I (hopefully) am on the healing side of this and getting better I can reflect that maybe I didn’t do the best job making lemonade out of the ginormous lemons that I felt I was unfairly given. My lemonade turned out kind of bitter. However, I hope that I always remember the feelings I’ve had so that I don’t let the little things get to me anymore. That’s a tall order for me, but truly our family has been so blessed with good health and happiness and those are the things that are the most important, everything else will fall into place eventually.

As I have been going through this, some family has suggested that they wished they could go through this for me. Now, this never really made sense to me because I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy (if I had any) until one day a lab tech came into to draw my blood and after hearing my story asked how you are doing (as everyone does) I said, as I always do, that you are doing just great! She said that we were lucky that you were great and that’s when I realized how those people could say that to me, unconditional love. It occurred to me then that I would much rather be lying in this hospital bed than coming to St. Mary’s to visit you in the NICU. We are so blessed to have so many people in our lives who love us unconditionally!

Enough about me, it is happy three month birthday to you, my beautiful boy! You are so lucky to share your third month birthday with your Aunt Jessica. It is just unfortunate that we live so far away and we cannot help her celebrate. But we send her birthday wishes with love and look forward to seeing her!!

You had your 2nd well child check a couple weeks ago and you weighed a hefty 15 pounds which put you in the 90th percentile for weight and you landed in the 70th for height. You are growing and thriving, and although I did not see as much as I would have liked during this last month, you are doing all kinds of new and great things. You smile all the time now, and your smile makes my heart break. We try all kinds of goofy things to make you smile. You are seeing so much more now and follow objects with your eyes. You’ve always loved to just look at things, if we put stuffed animals where you can see, you will just happily lie there and stare at them for quite awhile.

Sometimes you are fussy and we just don’t know why or what will make you happy. But usually this only lasts for a little while and then you get back to being your happy self. I think it is so funny when you are crying and then find something amusing so you are smiling as you are doing your best to remain grumpy. Even though we’ve had you on this schedule for some time now, you still do not consistently sleep through the night. Sometimes you wake up a couple times, sometimes only once, and every once and awhile you sleep all the way through. Daddy and I are looking forward to the nights when you sleep all the way through! We are hoping those nights are coming soon.

You are getting better at using your hands and figuring out what they are there for. You are always holding them together or grabbing for something, anything to hold onto in the air. When we give you your bottle you like to hold our hands as we feed you. You grabbed and held onto something recently for the first time. You even discovered you have feet by grabbing them with your hands and I figure it’s just a matter of time before those hands put them in your mouth.

You love to talk. You sit with me on my bed (even when I was really in pain and getting food through a feeding tube) and I would put my knees up and you would sit there, happy as a clam and we have great conversations. You tell me all about your day at daycare (which you started this month and we are so grateful to have such good care for you). I love to hear all the things you have to say as you experiment with what kind of sounds you can make.

You and daddy have your special time together too. When he feeds you your bottle before bed, he reads you Harry Potter. Jo Jo had borrowed the first book and he was so insistent on getting it back, I assumed so that he could read it. But he wanted to read it to you, and it was obviously very important that he start with the first book so you weren’t lost and didn’t understand what was going on in the 2nd. Daddy also loves going on walks with you. When I am feeling better and stronger, we will go on walks all together. This and spring are the times we most enjoy being outside.

Love,
Mama

Here are long awaited photos and videos for the special day of Jessica’s 28th birthday and Finn’s three month birthday. It is a collection of the photos and videos we have taken since the last time I posted videos and pictures because I was too sick. In case you can’t read his shirt it says “the best thing since sliced bread” and we so think that’s true!

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