Dear Finn-Month 5

You have become my stinker pot (because your specialty is spitting up and it gets into all those folds of baby fat and sometimes you just don’t smell like roses) and my pumpkin pie this month. You stink, but you’re just so cute and delicious. I love snacking on your chubby cheeks and your yummy tummy with a little nibble of your toes for dessert. It’s a good thing that babies regenerate like lizards, so that I know that you won’t be deformed for the rest of your life!

It is amazing to me how quickly you change and grow now. I know that you will do new things each day, not to mention each week. I swear sometimes I can see a difference when you go down for a nap and wake up.

On Halloween when Grandma was watching you, you rolled over by yourself for the first time. Although this is the only time you have done so. I swear, you are such a chunk it takes quite the momentum to get your whole body turned over and I think that it may still be awhile before this becomes something that you do on purpose. You are spending time on the floor playing on your tummy and on your back and Daddy and I try to help you roll over, but you seem very uninterested in exerting that much effort.

At your last doctor’s appointment you weighed in at a hefty 18 pounds. You are in the 91st percentile for your height and weight, so at least you are well proportioned. I was a big chunk when I was a baby too and I like to think that it is a sign that you are a healthy, happy, thriving baby. I have no doubt that when you start scooting your little bottom around you will thin out and be a little string bean moving everywhere!

The favorite part of my day is when you see me and a big smile lights up your face. It tells me not only that you recognize me but that you are also happy to see me and my heart melts and I know that I am wrapped around your little finger!

It occurred to me the other night how being a parent is truly forever. I can’t even begin to imagine what you will be like when you are 3 years old much less 13, 23, or 30. It seems so overwhelming and I hope that I can be proud of the kind of mother that I am during those years. It is too much to think about at one time, so I take it day by day and I know that I can do my best by you that day and that moment and that is what I have been given to handle right now, and I can handle that.

The most challenging thing this month has been my health, again. Blah, blah, boring. I am so tired of it all and I feel that I have missed out so much with you that I just want to be well and not have to worry about it anymore. I am definitely on the healing side of my troubles and it won’t be too long before I look back at this and it seems like a bad nightmare that happened a lifetime ago.

You are interacting so much more each day that passes. It is so much fun to play and read with you because you are so involved now, grabbing the book and trying to turn the pages. You love looking at all the beautiful illustrations. I have also started playing peek-a-boo with you. You think this is a great game and laugh and giggle.

Our favorite game, though is when I try to find you. Is Finn on the ceiling? No. Is Finn in my can of soda? No. Is Finn in the closet? No. Is Finn under this blanket? No. There Finn is! And we both laugh and smile, so happy that I found you. I promise that I will never stop looking for you and I will always be so excited when I find you!

Love,
Mama

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