Too tired to write.

We had Finn’s birthday party and I spent the day making our house presentable, so I am too tired to write.  My mother-in-law said that she has people over at least once a month, that way her house stays presentable.  I think this is the best idea ever.  Want to come over?

I will post more tomorrow on Finn’s party, fear not!!  But I did not want to leave you with nothing to read.  I believe that The Simpson’s make just the right statement at just the right time.  My favorite part is what Bart writes on the chalkboard at the very beginning of The Simpsons.  I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a teacher but here are the ones I find most humorous:

* I will not waste chalk.
* I will not do anything bad ever again.
* I will not torment the emotionally frail.
* I will not show off.
* I will not sleep through my education.
* I will not spank others.
* I am not a dentist.
* Spitwads are not free speech.
* Hamsters cannot fly.
* I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
* My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
* I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
* I am not deliciously saucy.
* Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
* I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface.
* I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
* I am not certified to remove asbestos.
* I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
* I will not instigate revolution.
* I saw nothing unusual in the teacher’s lounge.
* I will not conduct my own fire drills.
* I will return the seeing eye dog.
* Funny noises are not funny.
* I will not call my teacher “hot cakes”.
* Garlic gum is not funny.
* This punishment is not boring and meaningless.
* I will not yell “fire” in a crowded classroom.
* I will not encourage others to fly.
* I will not defame New Orleans.
* I will not bury the new kid.
* I will not Xerox my butt.
* It’s potato, not potatoe.
* I will not bring sheep to class.
* I will not trade pants with others.
* I will not drive the principal’s car.
* I will not eat things for money.
* I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
* I will not yell “She’s Dead” during roll call.
* I will not sell school property.
* I do not have diplomatic immunity.
* I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
* Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
* No one is interested in my underpants.
* I will not sell miracle cures.
* I will not grease the monkey bars.
* Underwear should be worn on the inside.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
This entry was posted in Funny, I'm a Fan and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Too tired to write.

  1. Katie says:

    Being the mother of three boys, the list of Bartisms made me laugh out loud!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge