Check on me in 3 days to make sure I’m still alive.

Today is THE OFFICIAL day.  The day where I am taking my last oxy.  After tonight I will be officially off narcotics for good.  6 months and 1 day after I had pancreatitis I am taking my last oxy.  I am hoping to overcome this last obstacle of my recovery with grace.  However, the likelihood of that I realize is very small so you may want to check on me in 3 days to make sure I have not gone to higher grounds to search for narcotics.

The good news I have to share is that I am also off Prozac by accident.  I was on Prozac to help me through the difficult transition through recovering because recovering also came carrying a whole huge pile of emotional baggage.  Sometimes that was the tougher part of getting back to normal.  When someone wants to get off an antidepressants it’s a very gradual transition because otherwise it can cause more depression.  So that was the plan, be on it to help with the recovery and gradually get off it.  However my brain must have had a subconscious plan of its own.  For the past two weeks I have honestly forgotten to take my meds and I am still feeling very good.  Although this is by far not the best way to get off antidepressants, as long as I am doing well, I am going to make an executive decision to stay off them.

I also know with getting of narcotics for good my depression may return and I am ready to resume taking them to save myself from unnecessary emotional torture.

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