Yes, Josh (and so I suppose myself in association) are now on the most wanted list of Olmsted Country. We are on the run from the law. Well not exactly, but we do have to go and explain that mainly we are just stupid and careless and not negligent pet owners. Let me break it down from you. If you have 2 dogs and they hatch and act on an escape plan and get free and you have not licensed them AND you live in Olmsted country it will cost you no less than $385 dollars. The only way that I support paying this money is if the state of Minnesota puts it directly into education which can be funneled into my bank account immediately. Knowing that this will not happen we have no choice but to go in and plead our case and and see if we can get the charges dropped. If not, we will be going underground and will be asking if we can crash on your couch. We will be calling it the Hanke Underground Couchroad.
As part of our defense we actually did register Tanner with the county last year when he escaped but the county messed up and it’s not in their records. We are entering this as defense exhibit one. I have no doubt that I can get the charges dropped because I’m practically a member of the bar from all the lawyer shows I watch. It’s truly not our fault that our dog was born with Houdini abilities. Mom had the great idea to get Hazel licensed before our court date to fake that we are responsible pet owners. We have a plea meeting with the plaintiff set up on July 13th which is truly disappointing because it would be so much more fun if it were actually on my birthday.
In all seriousness, I am so straight-laced that as soon as I opened the letter that boldly declared State of Minnesota Vs Joshua Christian Hanke I was overwhelmed with anxiety and can’t stop shaking. Being married to a man with a record is not what I want to include in our family Christmas card. Here are my questions for you…do you have a record? Do you really have your animals licensed through your city? Come on, who really does this? I hadn’t even heard of this until Tanner got picked up by the pound a year ago. Until our court date with are armed with escapist dogs and we should be considered very dangerous as they may lick you to death.