I was laying in bed the other night wishing I started this website a long time ago because I try to remember things about my life (and the amazing one I lived prior to having Finn…now it’s amazing…but in a different way). And I had and AMAZING life…if only I could remember it. I can’t remember anything. I think my memory followed my placenta out when Finn was born (sorry for the horrible mental image…I just couldn’t help myself). Although if I was writing when I started dating Josh all I would have written would have been:
Oh he’s so cute.
I really like him.
I wonder if he likes me?
I think I’ll marry him.
Maybe we should go on a 2nd date.
Nope, definitely ready to marry him.
Why is he running away from me?
He even looks cute from the back.
I think he’s trying to give me a sign that he wants me to be more clingy and desperate.
Maybe if I handcuff myself to him he will love me more.
Surprised he married me? Not more than me. But now he’s stuck with my crazy ass FOREVER (you should hear me maniacally laughing in the distance).
Now on a tangent you won’t understand until the next paragraph…I got my new iphone while my sister was here (yes, the best thing in my life, a very close third behind my husband and child…if you don’t have one, stop reading and go buy one now). She took my new phone and left me a note “Jessica loves me.” I keep it. I just like knowing it’s there. Do you ever keep messages like that? I get it from my mom (which is who I blame my craziness on), she has 2,467 messages saved on her phone from me and my sister.
When Josh called me the first 2 times he left a message and he was my first official boyfriend and I was convinced it wouldn’t last and I would be alone forever (don’t feel sorry for me, I was going to become a nun…or else a crazy cat dog and snake lady). I kept those 2 messages FOREVER (and I won’t tell you how many times I listened to them with a dreamy expression on my face thinking about my future husband because if I did those peeps with the straight jacket would come for me). MONTHS later he came over and was listening for a message and heard them (yes, it was when I had an tangible answering machine). And yet he still continued dating me AND married me. Now, I ask you, who is the crazy one?