What happens on the road, stays on the road.

Unless your mother has her own website, then nothing you do in life will ever be private.

Finn and I went down to visit my Grandma.  In August she took a bad fall which scared her and all of us.  Almost nearly exactly a month later she had a very serious stroke.  I was able to visit her in the hospital about a week after this had happened.  I never thought that my strong, brave, independent Grandma would be like this.  She was in so much pain and out of it, it was really scary and sad to see her like that.

Of course I want my Grandma to be around forever, but only if she can live life on her terms.  I remember vividly when my Grandpa was passing, my aunt told me that when our grandparents pass it’s like a dry run for when our parents pass.  With how I feel about my Grandma and all that has happened, I’m not ready to be in that situation as the daughter.  Mom…you better be taking notes…you have to live FOREVER!  And that now includes Diana and Barry (Josh’s parents) because now they’re stuck with me forever after, amen, too.

This is not what I planned to write about today…so I will get to what I planned to write about…but this seems important.

My Grandma will be 80 in December.  She has 5 kids, 12 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren.  She has lived an amazing and full life.  I hope that as she looks back on her life she doesn’t have regrets and there was really no huge holes where she wished she would have been able to do THIS THING.  If I have half the life my Grandma has made for herself, I would be happy with my 80 years on the planet.

The thing that is so hard for us as her family, friends, and loved one’s is that she was living by herself in her house she has lived in for decades.  She was completely independent and she had a very full life.  She had friends and family that she would see on a regular basis.  She volunteered and made a huge difference in her town.  Then within a month she went from completely autonomous to not being able to drink by herself (and I’m not talking about the good stuff).  Grandma has an amazing fighting spirit, I’m not sure if I could be motivated to fight as hard as she has and continues to.  It’s non-stop.  Yesterday she was able to take 5 steps, which the doctors thought might never happen again.  I don’t know how she finds it within herself to work so hard each day and keep her faith, but it doesn’t surprise me because she has worked so hard for everything in her life.  She is an inspiration to me and it also puts my petty challenges with work into perspective.

When my Grandma does pass (in 30 years) I know my Grandpa is saving her a place at his card table in the clouds.  And if it’s not too much trouble, could you save me a seat too?  I’ll be along in about 50 years, give or take 10.

The great thing about visiting her (besides visiting with her) was that I could see how much progress she has made.  It’s been about a month since I’ve seen her and to me it’s miraculous how far she’s come.  I know she feels frustrated about how much work she has to put in to take the smallest baby steps, but from what I saw she has improved leaps and bounds.  I can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to be her right now and I’m just continually amazed at her strength, courage, and independence.  It’s been hard to visit with all the stuff that has happened with work, I felt like I want to visit so much more than I was able to.  Now, hopefully, I’ll be able to go more regularly.

I love you Grandma.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Okay…so now onto what I meant to write about.  Finn came with me yesterday and it was a great trip.  I think it did her good to see his smiling face.  He has magical ways to make people feel better.  Finn asks about Great Grandma a lot because he hears me talking about her.  He asks to go visit her.  Spending 5 hours in the car with him was great and I had to document this because I don’t ever want to forget exactly how he is at this moment in his life.


He was drinking juice and asks “why do we drink with our mouths?”


I told him he needed to take a nap on the drive down.  He asks “where’s my nap?”  I told him if he closed his eyes and went to asleep he could find it.


We stopped by a play place halfway there so he could get out, run around, and play.  He feel down (and in front of 20 people) runs to me yelling “I hurt my butt, I hurt my butt, KISS IT, KISS IT!!!”


He asks “why are trees green?”


On the way home, it had been such a long day packed with so much, I think he was over tired and sick and tired of being in the car so he starts to cry.  I ask him what’s wrong?


Why are you crying?

“I not crying” he says through his tears.


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9 Responses to What happens on the road, stays on the road.

  1. J says:

    Kids are adorable. Even when they’re freaking out in the backseat.

  2. Khyra's Mom says:

    It is so sad to see when someone soooo strong and independent needs ‘us’ and more –

    We’ll be thinking of all –

    Nice new look BTW –

  3. Mary Jo says:

    I like the new website – very snazzy!

  4. Linda says:

    Still reviewing copious notes for “Adding to Blogroll”. Will continue to struggle till Ferd tells me how to add you, which will be very soon. 8 l

    Your road trip with Finn to see Grandma sounds like a blast! It’s great that the fun along the way is such a memorable part of your visit. When we visit Grandma my Yorkie sings along to his favorite song on my iPod, and it’s so funny I laugh til I cry! Life is good…

  5. Ron says:

    So sorry to hear about your Grandma, Kate.

    It’s very tough when someone is use to being independant and then having to go to being dependant. I know, the same thing happened to my grandfather, but like your grandmother, he was very strong and had a fighting spirit. Sending lots of prayers your way.

    Loved your conversations with Finn.

    “I told him he needed to take a nap on the drive down. He asks “where’s my nap?” I told him if he closed his eyes and went to asleep he could find it.”


    Like your new blog layout!

  6. So sorry to hear about your Grandma, but glad you’ve got a little comic relief so close by. XO!

    P.S. Thank you for all your kind comments about my photography. I’ve had no training, but about a year ago I decided to get more serious about my photos. So, I basically visit a lot of photography blogs and participate in a lot of photo challenges. It’s been a ton of help!

  7. Denise says:

    I loved the “I hurt my butt, kiss it!” and “where’s my nap?” I had to read out loud! So sweet!
    I hope your grandmother can cope with the situation… I am sure she is… she will be fine, even though it costs a lot of effort… I hope she lives for a loooooong time… you now what happened to me this year, and it still hurts a lot… dad was a wonderful person… can’t help but crying now, yesterday too, and so on… anyway… it will happen to my mother soon. You know, when couples have a very strong bond, when one “goes” the other follows soon… she is very sick, her doctor said she has a short space of time now… I am flying in some days, and will spend some months with her. My Master exams can wait a bit. But these last months I want to feel I enjoyed with her…
    Thanks for your post, Kate, and thanks for sparing me those pounds (you know what I mean!) – when I look at the boots now… I can’t see me wearing them!

  8. Hope your Grandma’s health will be better and better….
    That’s a funny conversation 😀

  9. Denise says:

    Oh, it should have been very late for me to write “I had to READ it out loud!” I wanted to say “laughed”, of course!!! :)
    Denise recently posted..Halloween costumeMy Profile

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