I had a friend once who told me that before reading a book she would always read the last page first.
I’m all for quirky things…so I tried it.
Problem is…usually the last page of a book is only a paragraph or two. It never spoiled the story for me…and it never made sense. The only way to have the last page “fit” is to read all the pages before it. So I stopped doing it. Now I read books on a Kindle so it’s not easy to “flip” to the last page even if I wanted to.
How we read blogs is the exact opposite (for the most part). If we are skipping our way around the interwebs to discover new people, places, and ideas (which I love doing) and we land on something that is of interest to us we read the most recent posts, right?
Sometimes I fall so deeply in love with the blog that I can’t get enough…then I go back to the beginning…the very first post. Which is where we would start if we were reading it like a book.
With blogs we read the most recent first, and often never go back and read where the person “started from.” We are able to make sense of their thoughts and stories now without reading all the pages before it.
As I go to look for the original post…the post that started it all…I also enjoy looking at the archives to see how long the author has been publishing. I’m super competitive (it’s a sickness, really) so I feel secretly superior if I’ve been blogging longer. And if you’ve been blogging longer (HOW DARE YOU) I secretly hold a grudge against you.
Reading the first post has become a habit for me. It is endlessly amusing. It’s like looking into someone’s old yearbook and seeing them at their most awkward and unsure phase…with braces, head gear, thick glasses, pimples, and a pocket protector.
As we hope we look better now than our 8th grade school picture, we also hope our voice grows and matures the longer we write, as does the topics about which we write.
It’s alarmingly similar if you go back and read the first post. Usually something that includes some or all…
…I created this blog…
…I wonder what I’ll write about…
…I wonder if anyone will read this…
…this is the beginning of a journey…
…I’ve thought long and hard about what I should write about first, but I guess I’ll just write about thinking about writing…
…I’m nervous about putting my thoughts “out there”…
…I hope I have interesting things to say…
So next time when you’re perusing your favorite sites, take a look back to their first post.
Most of us don’t think about our earliest posts…and if we did, we wouldn’t want to take credit for them publicly. Just as we try to forget and bury our awkward yearbooks on the bookshelf, we bury our first posts under hundreds of others.
I started my site because I was SO pregnant, school had let out for the summer, I was so uncomfortable (moms, you know what I’m talking about here, right? The time when no matter what position you contort your body into it is SO uncomfortable) and ready to be done being pregnant, I thought I would do something to take my mind off of it. I was so convinced that I would go early, it was inconceivable that this baby hadn’t been born.
When I started writing, it was not with the intention of anyone reading it, besides my sister (she lives halfway across the country and I wanted to keep her up-to-date). I kept it secret from everyone for quite awhile and actually how the word got out is because my dear husband thought my words were something amazing, he invited family and friends to read it. After Finn was born my mom sent out an email saying her first grandson was born and his name was Finnigan (I will hang this over her head FOREVER ~ although in her defense she had been coaching me for nearly 48 hours with very little sleep, rest, or food) and gave a link to my site if her family and friends wanted to keep up-to-date with what was happening.
It took on a life of its own when I became deathly ill when Finn was only 5 weeks old and it has been very healing ever since. My site has taken me on an amazing journey…some parts great, some parts painful…as is the case with any good journey. I never could imagine being where I am now, but it is because of my blog that I am here. For that I will be eternally grateful and could never regret it.
We go over to Josh’s parents house for a weekly meal. His mother is an AMAZING cook. When you think of an amazing cook that you know, my mother-in-law is at least twice as good at cooking as who you are thinking of. So every week we go over and break bread with them. Great food, great company, great deal! I always look forward to our dinner date with his parents.
So we were chatting after dinner once and Josh asked his parents if they had been reading the blog. I can’t remember how it happened, but before I knew it, a laptop was on the table and my father-in-law was READING ABOUT MY PREGNANCY…OUT LOUD. Now I love my father-in-law but honestly I’m sure we both would feel happier if he didn’t read about my pregnancy much less read about it aloud, in front of me. I have never been so mortified.
I hate to talk about what I’ve written in person. People will stop and talk to me about something I’ve posted and I stop them right away. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to hear someone reading my words. I also see some bloggers who read their posts out loud…I could NEVER do this. It is giving me anxiety just thinking about it.
So I pretend everyone I know doesn’t read this and they pretend they don’t read it (even my husband) and everyone lives happily ever after. You want to talk to me about about something I wrote? Write to me and I would be happy to answer! Never in “real life” though…NEVER!
So there’s my birth story of this site. Here is my very awkward and embarrassing first post. Now I will go hide my face in shame as you read…ta ta.
I am waiting for baby, 2 days and 10 hours until my due date, which means absolutely nothing because this baby seems quite content in the home that I have provided. I should really count down to my induction date…which is 11 days past that, or June 23rd. Then it will not be the baby’s choice, they will be going in after it!
Considering that everyone else in this wide world has already had their baby (even people who were not due until the end of June or middle of July), it seems inevitable that this baby will come, but I will not believe it until I see it for myself!
Considering right now I am just trying to get over one of the worst colds I have ever had…it is all right if the baby waits until I am feeling a little bit better. I have a horrible cough, bad congestion, and headaches. But it’s okay because I am not only keeping the orange juice manufacturers in business, but also the Kleenex makers.
I have to say, that being pregnant is the hardest thing that I have ever done, but I know that when this baby makes an arrival, it will all have been worth it.