Story of origin.

I had a friend once who told me that before reading a book she would always read the last page first.

I’m all for quirky things…so I tried it.

Problem is…usually the last page of a book is only a paragraph or two.  It never spoiled the story for me…and it never made sense.  The only way to have the last page “fit” is to read all the pages before it.  So I stopped doing it.  Now I read books on a Kindle so it’s not easy to “flip” to the last page even if I wanted to.

How we read blogs is the exact opposite (for the most part).  If we are skipping our way around the interwebs to discover new people, places, and ideas (which I love doing) and we land on something that is of interest to us we read the most recent posts, right?

Sometimes I fall so deeply in love with the blog that I can’t get enough…then I go back to the beginning…the very first post.  Which is where we would start if we were reading it like a book.

With blogs we read the most recent first, and often never go back and read where the person “started from.”  We are able to make sense of their thoughts and stories now without reading all the pages before it.

As I go to look for the original post…the post that started it all…I also enjoy looking at the archives to see how long the author has been publishing.  I’m super competitive (it’s a sickness, really) so I feel secretly superior if I’ve been blogging longer.  And if you’ve been blogging longer (HOW DARE YOU) I secretly hold a grudge against you.

Reading the first post has become a habit for me.  It is endlessly amusing.  It’s like looking into someone’s old yearbook and seeing them at their most awkward and unsure phase…with braces, head gear, thick glasses, pimples, and a pocket protector.

As we hope we look better now than our 8th grade school picture, we also hope our voice grows and matures the longer we write, as does the topics about which we write.

It’s alarmingly similar if you go back and read the first post.  Usually something that includes some or all…

…I created this blog…

…I wonder what I’ll write about…

…I wonder if anyone will read this…

…this is the beginning of a journey…

…I’ve thought long and hard about what I should write about first, but I guess I’ll just write about thinking about writing…

…I’m nervous about putting my thoughts “out there”…

…I hope I have interesting things to say…

So next time when you’re perusing your favorite sites, take a look back to their first post.

Most of us don’t think about our earliest posts…and if we did, we wouldn’t want to take credit for them publicly.  Just as we try to forget and bury our awkward yearbooks on the bookshelf, we bury our first posts under hundreds of others.

I started my site because I was SO pregnant, school had let out for the summer, I was so uncomfortable (moms, you know what I’m talking about here, right?  The time when no matter what position you contort your body into it is SO uncomfortable) and ready to be done being pregnant, I thought I would do something to take my mind off of it.  I was so convinced that I would go early, it was inconceivable that this baby hadn’t been born.

When I started writing, it was not with the intention of anyone reading it, besides my sister (she lives halfway across the country and I wanted to keep her up-to-date).  I kept it secret from everyone for quite awhile and actually how the word got out is because my dear husband thought my words were something amazing, he invited family and friends to read it.  After Finn was born my mom sent out an email saying her first grandson was born and his name was Finnigan (I will hang this over her head FOREVER ~ although in her defense she had been coaching me for nearly 48 hours with very little sleep, rest, or food) and gave a link to my site if her family and friends wanted to keep up-to-date with what was happening.

It took on a life of its own when I became deathly ill when Finn was only 5 weeks old and it has been very healing ever since.  My site has taken me on an amazing journey…some parts great, some parts painful…as is the case with any good journey.  I never could imagine being where I am now, but it is because of my blog that I am here.  For that I will be eternally grateful and could never regret it.

We go over to Josh’s parents house for a weekly meal.  His mother is an AMAZING cook.  When you think of an amazing cook that you know, my mother-in-law is at least twice as good at cooking as who you are thinking of.  So every week we go over and break bread with them.  Great food, great company, great deal!  I always look forward to our dinner date with his parents.

So we were chatting after dinner once and Josh asked his parents if they had been reading the blog.  I can’t remember how it happened, but before I knew it, a laptop was on the table and my father-in-law was READING ABOUT MY PREGNANCY…OUT LOUD.  Now I love my father-in-law but honestly I’m sure we both would feel happier if he didn’t read about my pregnancy much less read about it aloud, in front of me.  I have never been so mortified.

I hate to talk about what I’ve written in person.  People will stop and talk to me about something I’ve posted and I stop them right away.  It’s like nails on a chalkboard to hear someone reading my words.  I also see some bloggers who read their posts out loud…I could NEVER do this.  It is giving me anxiety just thinking about it.

So I pretend everyone I know doesn’t read this and they pretend they don’t read it (even my husband) and everyone lives happily ever after.  You want to talk to me about about something I wrote?  Write to me and I would be happy to answer!  Never in “real life” though…NEVER!

So there’s my birth story of this site.  Here is my very awkward and embarrassing first post.  Now I will go hide my face in shame as you read…ta ta.

I am waiting for baby, 2 days and 10 hours until my due date, which means absolutely nothing because this baby seems quite content in the home that I have provided. I should really count down to my induction date…which is 11 days past that, or June 23rd. Then it will not be the baby’s choice, they will be going in after it!

Considering that everyone else in this wide world has already had their baby (even people who were not due until the end of June or middle of July), it seems inevitable that this baby will come, but I will not believe it until I see it for myself!

Considering right now I am just trying to get over one of the worst colds I have ever had…it is all right if the baby waits until I am feeling a little bit better. I have a horrible cough, bad congestion, and headaches. But it’s okay because I am not only keeping the orange juice manufacturers in business, but also the Kleenex makers.

So until this baby comes…I am trying to get well and keep myself busy so as not to go completely crazy!
Here are pictures of the nursery.

Here is a picture of my unbelievably swollen feet…although I am not sure you get the full picture of just how swollen they are.

Here is a picture of Tanner, acting like he is a well behaved dog and not going to, at any moment, be running around with something in his mouth that he shouldn’t have. making me chase him.

I have to say, that being pregnant is the hardest thing that I have ever done, but I know that when this baby makes an arrival, it will all have been worth it.

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17 Responses to Story of origin.

  1. I rarely if ever look back on my oldest posts. Maybe I should if I want a laugh. Or be mortified. :-)
    Sprite’s Keeper recently posted..Hopes for a hack-free holidayMy Profile

  2. Those feet!!! WTF was going on there??? I shouldn’t talk, really, with my freaky feet. But really!

    (My first posts were of course exactly as you said.)
    Mwa (Lost in Translation) recently posted..Sleepy creepyMy Profile

  3. I love going back and reading all of a blog I like’s posts, from the very beginning!

    And man oh man, those were some swollen feet!

    Isn’t it funny how back then your son, who is now such a PERSON, was just the baby in your tummy so far? :)
    Charis Brown Malloy recently posted..Human Chorionic Gonadotropin hCG Weight Loss – Yes or NoMy Profile

  4. Tracey says:

    I do the same thing – if I find a blog I really like I go back and read from the start.

    Happy Christmas to all the Hankes for 2010!
    Tracey recently posted..End of year meme 2010My Profile

  5. Khyra's Mom says:

    What an interesting post!

    I know when Khyra first started blogging, she was lucky to come up with a post every week to ten days –

    Now, she’s posting every day – sometimes I don’t know how she does it –

    Of course, it does mean that sometimes I don’t get the opportunity to use the laptop for my own blog 😉

    Thanks for sharing the origin of your blog species!
    Khyra’s Mom recently posted..Thoughts For ThursdayMy Profile

  6. Barbara says:

    I recently went back and read my first post – and it was exactly how you described it! I loved your comparison to the awkwardness of puberty.
    If I have time, I enjoy reading the first post, but lately I’m having a tough time just keeping up with the latest from my favorites (and writing my own!)

  7. When I meet a new Blogger, I sometimes go back and read everything from Day1, but not always. I don’t know why this is. Maybe it’s just that one is immediately comfortable with some people, and one doesn’t need to know any past history. With others, one senses a previous history that might prove advantageous to be aware of.
    And yes, it is interesting to see how a life develops through ones Blog. (Some of) My older posts are not too bad, (I believe) , because I really ( I like to think) put a lot of effort into planning them (Although it’s not truly possibly for me to judge.)
    Nowadays, I have settled into a comfy deep cushion of a Blog, where it’s not really that important that I’m acceptable to every reader. I have posted a few times on what ‘unidentified need’ Blogging satisfies. I am still none the wiser on that point, but Blogging has changed me. For the better I hope.

  8. Kyooty/Mary says:

    I think my first posts on both blogs say something about being a place holder? I didn’t know what I was going to do with the space. I liked the name so grabbed it. One was 5yrs ago. I was also writing about babies. hehe That baby is 5 now.
    Kyooty/Mary recently posted..Random Tuesday- Randomly appearing in DecemberMy Profile

  9. Dayngr says:

    I’ve been blogging on blogger since 2006, don’t know if that makes you hate me or not but my first posts were a mess. I didn’t know what direction I was going in. So, I can totally relate to this post.
    Dayngr recently posted..A Digital Christmas StoryMy Profile

  10. Kate says:

    @Sprite’s Keeper-My original posts always remind me how much I have to be embarrassed about!

    @Mwa-Don’t judge me! :) Normally my feet are so very lovely…they were crazy swollen when I was pregnant though. Normally I have pretty feet and pretty hair…and that’s all I can lay claim to!

    @Charis-I think about this all the time. I could never have imagined where we are today. Happiness was out destination so it was worth it!

    @Tracey-Happy Christmas to you and the boy!

    @Khyra’s Mom-If you figure out how she manages all that posting, please let me know…or if you lend her out, you can send her my way!

    @Barbara-Such a crazy time. If I’m still breathing on Jan. 2 I will consider myself lucky!

    @Sans-True, true, true, and AMEN!

    @Kyooty-We need to invent something to stop the babies from growing up!

    @Dayngr-Yep, I hate you. I’m sure that you totally rocked it from post one, you’re just trying to make me feel better. 😉

  11. Vince says:

    I believe my first blog post also begins “I’m starting this blog” or a reasonable variation thereof. I got started doing it partly because it was “new” and seemed interesting and partly as an online diary. I never really expected anyone to READ it let alone actually meet people through it. But I’ve found some real friends on line, even if I haven’t actually met them. So overall it’s a good experience.
    Vince recently posted..Change is the only constantMy Profile

  12. Linda says:

    Hah! When I first read your blog I think I was in my second week of writing. And when I saw that you were so established (and I loved your writing style and cute kid) I thought, “yeh, she’s definitely superior to me”. Why would I waste my time reading anything less? Neat post! 😀

  13. maggie says:

    haha, very interesting!
    I very often read the last pages of a book, but only after I’ve started reading the book. Like, after my first session with the book, when i HAVE to put it down and go to bed/work/whatever, i’ll just flip to the end and see what that’s like. I tend to forget about what I read before I get there…. and then if the book is REALLY big, i will randomly read pages here and there, not just the last one….

    ..I’m really easily distracted and very curious… 😉

    I do often go back to early posts when I find a new blog I like… though not usually the first time, just after a while.. when my curiosity gets the better of me and my time management… 😉
    maggie recently posted..Merry Christmas to all- and to all a good night!My Profile

  14. nelson says:

    I am browsing through the old posts and this one got me really interested! Nice one!

    Very seldom do I check out the very first posts of a blog, but since you mentioned it, I might try that out now.

    And yeah, my first lines on my very post was something like the ones you mentioned 😀 And do you hold a grudge on me? Coz I’ve been blgging longer than you! Hahahaha!

    Happy New Year!

    YES I HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST YOU. No haha. You may not longer be allowed to be my “bloggy friend.”
    😉 Kate
    nelson recently posted..Counting My 2010 BlessingsMy Profile

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