When we reach 70 years or more, haven’t we EARNED, as human beings, the right to decide if we want to end our life? Where do you stand on assisted suicide? I would rather die than merely exist.
If I was in an accident and a vegetable, I would want someone to pull the plug. For me, it would be the most loving, humane tribute. I would never want to be a burden on people if my mind wasn’t there. The emotional costs of caring for a loved one is devastating and that’s not even taking into consideration the financial burden.
If I was in an accident and died I would want them to use every piece of me that would be of use. Cut me up, spread me around the country, the world. Give my eyes to a lady in Florida and my big toe to a guy in Mexico. Make my hair into a wig for a child who loses theirs from chemo and give my bones to dogs to chew on.
When Josh and I got married he said he didn’t want to be a donor. I think it was more about the fear of death than anything else. Now I think he feels differently, (right, honey)? Either way, if he was gone, really gone for sure…I would want him to be as generous in his death as he has been in his life and I would say CUT, CUT, CUT!!!
I told him when I die (because I’m going first, it was part of our marriage vows) that he is to cremate whatever is left of me in my pajamas. I am never more happy cuddled on the couch with my boys in my pajamas…that’s how I want to be forever.
Josh said when we die we should both be cremated and mixed so we would be together for all eternity. Awww…so sweet he is. Then he says “it’ll be like we’re having sex FOREVER.” Isn’t he romantic?? If you are family…we NEVER do that…Finn was delivered by stork.
My best friend’s father passed away unexpectedly a couple summers ago. I tried to be there for her in all ways that I could think of. I couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to my mom, especially without warning and so before her time. Our traditions in this culture shocked me. I saw my friend transform herself into a robot to complete what was expected of her. The night before his funeral she had to be at his wake for hours, making conversation, being polite as people offered their sympathy. Then after the funeral, she had to make nice as she fed everyone who attended.
I know not one of those people was there for any other reason than to offer the family their sympathy and tell his family how much he positively affected them in their lives. And he did…he was a great man. Yet, at the time, it seemed like the worst kind of torture to ask his mother and children to pretend to care what these other people had to say. It seemed almost like the most horrible thing to ask his family to do. I loved him…he always called me daughter #2. I felt like I had more of a chance to grieve for him than his own children did.
We had two family members pass this fall. We sent a card to let them know we were thinking of them during their time of grief. Nearly immediately thank you cards arrived. You could have knocked me over with a feather. REALLY? Your husband or daughter passes and you’re expected to send a THANK YOU card? Is that just added onto the expectations that you are supposed to get through when your loved one passes?
Let me tell everyone now. If Josh or immediate family passes I WILL NOT be at the wake. I’ll try to make it to the funeral…you’ll be able to find me by the sound of my sobbing. And if you’re waiting for a thank you card…I can guarantee it WON’T be there before at least a year has passed. If you have a problem with that…well I don’t give a shit because I’ll be buried under my covers.
I have been lucky that I haven’t had to go through these tortures rituals because no one very close to me has passed on (knock on wood). I was talking to someone who’s husband had died and she was telling me that she thought it was very rude that one of her grandson’s hadn’t come to the funeral (because he lived across the country) and hadn’t sent a sympathy card. I couldn’t believe it. This person was grieving the loss of his grandfather and he was expected to send a sympathy card to his grandmother?
Is it just me…or do other people think this is extra torture that we’re asked to go through when a loved one passes on?
I believe very strongly when someone goes out of their way to think of you and spends their precious time and hard earned money on you the very least we can do is write them a thank-you card. Our wedding thank you’s were written on the plane ride to our honeymoon. I know that people are “allowed” something like 6 months get their thank you’s out…but if you had less than 1,000 people at your wedding and you take that long…I totally judge you. And if you plaster a wedding picture onto your thank you’s and have a generic thank you typed inside…I also totally judge you.
But thank you’s when you’re grieving? That’s inhumane…at least that’s how it seems to me. What do you think?