I’m like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get.

I have been thinking a lot about blogs.  Why do I blog?  If the only reason is to put more noise out there…well then it’s not really worth my time.  For me, I need to have a clear intention and goals.

When I started my site it was when I was a week or so away from my due date with Finn and wanted him OUT OF ME.  I did it to have something to do and also so my sister (who lives half a country away) could keep up to date with our happenings.

WARNING: tangent…

There are not very many things that I am good at in this world.  There are even less things that I am good at AND proud of.

I am an excellent liar.  When I was growing up I would lie just to lie.  I would lie to entertain myself.  I would lie to make my life seem interesting (I didn’t actually need help in that area).  I would lie about things that didn’t matter.  I would lie about things that DID matter.  I would lie, even when it was more work to lie…just for shits and giggles.  I lied because I felt that I got dealt a bad hand in life.  I lied to prove that I was more intelligent than the person I was lying to.  I was put in therapy and I lied to the shrink about everything as I chuckled to myself…aren’t they supposed to have a bullshit meter?

It wasn’t hard to keep my lies straight…if I got caught up, I would just lie my way out.  Never felt guilty…until I did.  When I asked myself who I wanted to be (if I told you how old I was when I did this…I would die of shame) I realized I had created a life that was a lie.

By the time I made this decision, lying was such a habit for me I had to consciously check myself.  I was also very good at stealing and cheating too…but that’s another story for another day.  Lying gave me a very good bullshit reader so if you’re lying to me, I’ll probably know it.  If I lie to you…you won’t know it!  😉  But if I look you in the eye and make a promise, you can be sure I’ll keep my word.

When I started my site I didn’t have a plan.  I just wrote.  I didn’t think anyone besides my closest family and friends would come to read this silliness.  I didn’t tell anyone about the site besides my sister and husband.  Little by little it has evolved and taken on a life of its own.

Since I started writing to entertain myself so it never occurred to write anonymously.

See how I connected those 2 thoughts…didn’t see that coming…didjya?

Over sharing…I’s good at it!

About half of the blogs I read are anonymous.  I DON’T consider writing under a pseudonym lying…just so we’re clear.  I consider it smart.  I lost my job, in no small part, because I was too public about who I was and what I believe.

But I also believe firmly in laziness and I just feel like keeping all that straight…way too much work for me!  Also, if I couldn’t post pictures of all the cuteness that I call Finn, my site would be a lot less entertaining.

When my sister was here I was talking to her and Josh about my site.  They thought I’m not consistent in my writing.  Sometimes I’m bitchy and sarcastic (that’s their favorite, and you wonder why I’m the way I am), sometimes I post great (or amusing) things I find on my travels through the interwebs, and sometimes I write about what’s bothering me or been on my mind.

They both said when they come to my site, they never know what to expect.

What do you expect people?!?  I’m DEEP!  I like to think I’m like Oprah.  You never know what you’re going to get…but it’s going to be good!  😉  I just write what’s on my mind.

Now comes your part…

Did you have a plan of where you wanted your blog to go or did you let it find its own way?

Do you write anonymously?  Why or why not?

Did you imagine where your site would take you?  Or are you as shocked as I am?

Do you go for one “voice” so your readers always know what to expect when they visit you?  Do you prefer to visit sites where you always know what you’re going to get?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
This entry was posted in Personal, Site and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to I’m like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get.

  1. I’m anonymous because I’m a big chicken. (Cluck, cluck.)
    I write because I like writing, and because I want to find other people online who “get” me.
    I try to write different things all the time because otherwise… snore!

    MMhmmm….that’s me agreeing (with everything except the chicken).
    :) Kate
    Mwa (Lost in Translation) recently posted..Thank you!My Profile

  2. Khyra's Mom says:

    Interesting post –

    My blog actually was an offshoot of Khyra’s – I wanted to make sure hers stayed about the dogs – and ‘khats’ too – and stayed away from political/etc things – I had done a ‘music’ series of posts on Khyra’s that were popular so I have used that along with adult beverages to frame mine –

    Sometimes I wish I would be ‘braver’ and take mine to the next level – but sometimes I stay guarded just in case –

    What I’d really like is to find my writing muse again – she seems to have gone MIA – although that might not be the worst thing as it might mean I’m not quite as sad and/or unhappy and/or whatever right now –

    I’ll be interested to see the responses you get on this query –

    You have reached such an audience…you and Khyra! I’m glad to hear you’ve lost your muse if it means you’re happy!!
    :) Kate

  3. Denise says:

    I pretty much identified myself with you… in many ways!
    I started that blog in 2005 and it has ups and downs. I didn’t write for a long while and then I sometimes wrote about nothing at all… it didn’t have any direction. Then last year I thought of reconnecting to my site and chose something I like, fashion. Still, sometimes I posted songs or thoughts… cause I am also not superficial, like some people might think.
    Right now I am having problems with the site administrator and they promised to solve, let’s see. I sometimes think how to go on, cause I think I made it a mix. Feelings, thoughts and fashion. But then, why not? “I’m every woman, it’s all in me…”!
    Right now I just arrived in the UK and I planned to write today, but honestly, it was such a long flight, I just slept the whole day long…!
    (I hope I answered your questions properly!)

    6 years…wow!! Your administrator needs to get the stuff fixed or you should walk. I believe I remember correctly when I say…didn’t you pay your annual cost twice or something?
    :) Kate
    Denise recently posted..7 emails begging for solutionMy Profile

  4. Travis says:

    My place is not anonymous in that anyone who knows me can find it if they wanted to. There’s enough real stuff about my life. But I don’t post pictures of me or my family for privacy’s sake. And I’ll allude to my job but I won’t identify the company, what it does, or specifically what I do.

    I’m the wolf and that’s that.

    My place is for me to post what interests me when it interests me. It can be original fiction or poetry, historical essays, societal commentary, dancing reviews, or complete silliness. I think every post reflects a different aspect of who I am. Take them all together and you get the written version of me.

    I don’t force the blog to go anywhere it isn’t interested in going. I’m not out to make a difference. I came to blogging and found a nice little community, and that’s good enough for me.

    :) Kate
    Travis recently posted..Super Bowl XLVMy Profile

  5. Kyooty/Mary says:

    It took me 3yrs to tell anyone in my family I was blogging. Judgy judgy don’tcha know.. and now I still keep it mostly out of their loop. I’m pretty sure the smart FB wall creepers have figured it out.. heheh wait until they read what I’ve said so far?

    Wow…3 years. You must be excellent at keeping secrets. Me? I suck!
    :) Kate
    Kyooty/Mary recently posted..Friday Fill ins Winter Accepting the SnowMy Profile

  6. Juana says:

    This post really got my attention! Alright…let’s see…I had a plan. To blog until I reunited with my husband in Spain. So far so good, although…I ended up adding crazy recipes, that people seem to enjoy very much.

    Hmmmm…in February it will be 52 WEEKS since I have been blogging under my name, Juana Aragon. No reason to hide. I guess I am too simple, and a bad liar too!
    Anyway, how would you make friends if you don’t tell them who you are?

    I write about different things…Can you imagine 52 weeks of “I miss my husband…I miss my husband…I miss my husbaaaaand!!”? But I don’t mind reading blogs about
    just art, or just cooking…Now, I do prefer blogs that are like roller coasters!

    So tell me…what do I measure in your bullshit reader? :)

    I miss my husband blog…yep no place to really grow with that. Haha…sorry I should have specified…my bullshit reader only operates when face to face!! If you don’t have one (and the person you want to know if they’re lying is 10 or under) tell them that when they lie a red dot appears on their forehead. Kids are so funny…they’ll come up and tell you something as the have a hand over their forehead. But then when they find out YOU were lying…well that’s a can of worms you better be ready to deal with!
    :) Kate

  7. I didn’t really have a path when I started, but I noticed pretty quickly that I like stories, telling them and constructing them in odd ways. It’s been my little niche for a while now.

    You end up where you were meant to be…that’s what I’ve found at least!!
    :) Kate
    Sprite’s Keeper recently posted..Even though its a sick day- SOMEONES getting schooledMy Profile

  8. Ferd says:

    I started my first blog, Crazy Medical Cases, just to explore the blog world, and I stuck to a subject I know a lot about. But I used it creatively to tell stories. I loved the creative aspect of it, but grew to love the connection with people a whole lot more. I realized then that I wanted to blog in a way that was a positive force in my life, and connect with like minded people. As a result of my 12 step work, I decided to focus on gratitude. I started “The Best Parts.” My blog now is loosely related to that. It is a blog about the good things in my life, about which I’m grateful. I am not anonymous at all. I post pictures of myself, my family, etc. I never post anything I’m ashamed of. Anyone could see it and it would be alright. Sometimes it’s silly, but nothing I would get into trouble for.

    I believe people post for a reason, a psychological one. For me, it is developing my spirit, as my tagline says, by “Fostering an attitude of gratitude.” Another reason is to simply connect with people, because I tend to be introverted and isolationist, and often feel lonely. Like I said before, I also like the creative aspect, and I really do like to write.

    I love the gratitude you write with. Wonderful reminder of making sure we stay focused on what is truly important!!
    :) Kate
    Great post and questions!
    Ferd recently posted..Ditching Cable Part 3My Profile

  9. I started as just Diana, later I tucked my surname in as well. I leave comments as Elephant’s Eye because the garden blogging circles I am mostly in, include LOTS of Dianas! I write 2 or 3 posts a week, 2 for the wildlife gardening theme my readers expect, and a wild card so we all don’t get bored. The writing muse is happier if she has some direction, and some freedom ;~)

    As a not-mother I feel uneasy about photos of young children, with their names, on the web. But I’m a not-mother so what do I know! What is the magic age when your children are old enough to have a right to privacy? To choose what the Internet knows about them? Not criticism, just curious how mothers feel about this?

    It is a subject worth A LOT of thought…that’s for sure. I have made conscious choices about what I post about and of Finn. He is not old enough yet to be aware…but when he is and he asks me to not post this or write about that I will respect his privacy 1,000%. If he wants me to take certain posts down…I will. If he wants me to take the whole site down…I will. The interesting thing is that people think that when writing about your own life…everything is fair game. For me, at least, that’s not the case at all. I wrote about 10% of what happens in our lives and I am very selective about what and how I write. Do I worry about the safety of my son…yes. But I also worry about him walking into the street and being hit by a bus. There are so many things that can and will hurt him…and for me the trick is not limiting his experiences because of my fear…but rather taking steps of precaution to allow him to do what he wants without putting him at too much risk. As with anything in life, there are consequences, both good and bad. We have to decide is the risk worth the reward. Obviously my answer, for the time being, is yes.

    I do censor what I post…especially as far as Finn’s photos. When I started this and only my closest friends and family would read this I would post pictures of Finn naked, or in the tub. Now I make sure that he’s covered to a point where I feel he’s not being exposed. I think little baby butts might be the cutest thing in the world…but you won’t see my son’s on my site. Just because I would have to think of him being exploited because of that.

    With all that being said…if anything EVER happened to my precious boy…and I thought there was even a .0000001% chance that it was because of my on-line time…well quite simply I couldn’t live with that. So there you have it…clear as mud!!

    :) Kate
    Elephant’s Eye recently posted..Goodbye AdsenseMy Profile

  10. I never set out to be a Blogger. My Blog name was destiny in an email, and I created an empty Blog just to enable me to leave identifiable comments, instead of using anon. But, if you leave comments, it is only fair that one should contribute to the continuum, and thus fate (and prompting) decided that I plunge myself into the sea of posting. For a long time it was a struggle, thinking up stuff to post. I have always produced graphics, and did so to accompany my early posts, but it is only fairly recently that I have settled down to posting graphics on their own.
    Historical or hysterical?
    Blogging for me, has opened up avenues that I would probably not have encountered without it. It has been, and still is, a rabbit hole of wonder, learning, and sheer amazing enjoyment. It has brought me both exquisite majesty, and dark infernal demons. The demon part when I stood and faced the mirrored dichotomy of real-world and virtual-world identity, and did battle in my mind. And what a battle it was; but I survived, by the application of pure emotional logic.
    Funny or epiphany?
    Blogging has given me numerous new pursuits, and for that I am thankful. It has also allowed me to share intellect with many other like-minded people across the world. This too, has been wonderful. It is however, an ever changing medium, just as we all change as we pass through this box of chocolates we call life. Maybe one day, the coffee cream will be full of nuts.
    The real coffee cream full of virtual nuts, or the virtual coffee cream full of real nuts?
    You can see I did not survive the battle un-damaged. ~~~

    Funny how that happens…no?
    :) Kate

  11. maggie says:

    I started my blog just to give me a place to unload some thoughts in my brain, and also to write down some of my newfoundland adventures to share more coherently with my friends and family beyond the oodles of photos I put on facebook. I had a fairly solid plan when I started, but have let it evolve as it will..

    I don’t write anonymously exactly… I’d rather my clients and colleagues not be able to just search “Dr So and So” and find my blog… but if anyone I work with stumbled across it they’d know it was mine (hello, pictures.. and my name is actually maggie… and there are not a lot of CFA vets in Newfoundland..). I try to keep that in mind when I’m writing about the vet side of my life. Client/patient confidentiality is a big deal, and any of my vet related posts are read and reread and REREAD before I post them to make sure it’s as vague as possible about patients that aren’t my own pets..

    I don’t know if I prefer to visit sites where I always know what I’m going to get… so long as I enjoy the style, I’ll keep coming back :)

    It’s amazing to me that people are so freaky about the confidentiality of their pets. I have never thought about that before, and even now I am having a really hard time having it making sense in my brain. I don’t understand why this would upset people so much, granted of course that you aren’t being mean to their owners or the pets…which I know you wouldn’t…hmmm…it’s a thinker…
    :) Kate
    maggie recently posted..3-Legged Animals With a SpareMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge