**If you missed my post from yesterday you’ll want to read this first.**
I read my post from yesterday and realized I sounded like a heartless bitch, which is probably pretty accurate. However, I left out a large group of kids. Each child/person is an individual and needs to be dealt with individually.
Josh’s sister is the best mom that I have the privilege of watching. She has made me the VERY proud Aunt of 2 nieces and 2 nephews. Each one is generous, kind, ridiculously smart and talented, and I know her preference is to handle situations gently. Obviously, no one can argue with her results.
Their oldest is a precious girl, Anna, who will turn 11 in September. She is BEAUTIFUL (they all are, they must have some killer genes). In fact, that’s probably an understatement. When people are attractive, in my experience, they tend to rely more on their physical attributes and don’t find it as pressing of a need to work their heart, soul, and brain.
If I only had one thing to say about Anna, I would say that she is more beautiful on the inside than out. Whenever I see her, she comes and gives me a huge hug, like she’s just so happy to see me. She will ask if she can get me anything, she always wants to take Finn around and show him things and tell him all about everything. I tend to hang back at family gatherings, because I’m not super comfortable with a lot of people (every family gathering when I was growing up consisted of 3 people, and one was me). Anna always makes a point to come and tell me that her favorite celebrations are when we are there, and just spend some time with me in the corner, talking and answering my endless questions. She is the kind of person that I aspire to be.
And she’s the rule, not the exception of her brother’s and sister.
Finn is very sensitive. If I even start to raise my voice, his shoulders will rise like he’s trying to cover his ears with his shoulders. I am loud. I am louder when I become upset. He tells me often to “calm down.” And I really try to respect his individual needs. 85% of the time, if I ask him to do something, he will comply. So there is no need to raise my voice or hand down further consequences. When there is, or if that happens more in the future, we will deal with it then!
I am a pretty loud person in general, so I have had to catch myself. Even if Josh and I are just having an excited conversation, Finn will tell me to calm down. He is so sensitive to noise that when he’s playing a game where he touches the picture of different things (animals, ambulance, etc), as soon as he touches it, his hands will fly up to cover his ears, because even those sounds are too loud for his comfort.
With all kids, they push the limits, that’s their job. They want to find them and when they find the boundaries, that makes them feel safe. If I know one thing about being a parent FOR SURE, it’s that all kids want to feel safe and loved.
And when a kid’s life feels out of control and many people have not showed them unconditional love, they MAY need some tough love to see the light. But as I said, each child is an individual and needs to be dealt with as such.
The only other thing I know FOR SURE is that 99.9% of the time, I don’t know what on earth I’m talking about.