What not to do.

So I recently was interviewed.  And I really appreciated it (I haven’t heard back as of today, so if they turn me down then I may not like them so much anymore).  And I would love to work for this company.  It would really be an honor and privilege for me.

It was actually an interview to be accepted into a program that would most likely turn into a full time job.  Before the interviews they had an information session and it was really nice of them.  They gave us information on what to do for an interview.  This is a very important skill.  I just didn’t realize that anyone over the age of 18 wouldn’t know these things-

*When scheduling the interview, obtain the following information: time, date, and location

*Arrive at least 5 minutes early

*Dress in business attire

It was 2 pages and I’m really not trying to be sarcastic when I say this is really important knowledge and so it is a great service that this particular company is offering to the candidates that were selected to be interviewed.

I have been applying for jobs like C.R.A.Z.Y. and have received a few interviews.  All (of course) make me a little nervous and so Josh is kind enough to drop me off and pick me up.  In all fairness, I haven’t been to a TON of interviews, but here’s our routine:

me-do I look okay?

Josh-yes, you look very nice.

me- (kiss as I get out of the car) wish me luck.

Josh-good luck.

Maybe they should have training for significant others of people who are getting interviewed.  Anyways, to break our very extensive and complicated routine and also to relieve some stress I was explaining to him the tips they had given for attending an interview.  Which (quite naturally) led into a fun and sarcastic list making of the training I would do for applicants of what NOT to do for an interview (yes, in fact, I am that mature).  Here were some of our thoughts:

*Do you mind if my children play in the corner?  I didn’t want to find someone to watch them.

*I partied like CRAZY last night and am still a little drunk…can I have a trash can to vomit into?

*What?  I wasn’t supposed to wear pajamas to the interview??!!

*You look familiar…have we slept together?

*Can you repeat that? (Repeat often.)

*How much money will this job put in my pocket?

*You think I stink?  I took a shower last week.  It’s once a month whether I need it or not.

*I’m not so much into promptness, responsibility, respect, work ethic, self direction, flexibility or anything else that’s not rad.  Is that going to be a problem?

*I like to take at least 50 minute breaks each hour…that won’t be a problem will it?  I’m totally worth my salary in the other 10.

*What?  I’m late?  45 minutes?  I’m totally worth the wait.

*What up my homies?  You seem like fucking awesome friendzilles to hang with!

*When can I start calling in sick and taking vacation?

*I don’t have to work with you, do I?

*Me llamo is Felipe

*Can you tell me what I just said?  I forgot.

Guaranteed to NOT get you hired.  Do you have any pearls of wisdom you would like to add?

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8 Responses to What not to do.

  1. Vince says:

    As an interviewer, my BIGGEST issue is being on time, meaning be early. Favorite thing that actually happened to me resulting in the candidate NOT getting the job: begging me to hire him “Because he REALLY needed the job and might have to move out of state if he didn’t get it”. What, was he threatening me? For real?

    And to be VERY serious as I’m interviewing for new jobs myself, my two BIGGEST tips are 1) be at least 15 minutes early, not 5. Can’t stress how much it will impress an employer if you’re there plenty early. 2) Behavioral based interviewing – it’s a skill I learned as the interviewer and utilize all the time as an interviewee. Find a REAL example of something you’ve done to show your experience. Question would go something like this (assume for a moment good customer service skills are required for the position): “Tell me about a really difficult customer you had and how you dealt with that customer.” You have no idea how many candidates get thrown by a question like that and say “Well, I would do this or that”. NO. Tell me what you REALLY did when you came across a customer like that. So whenever I’m in an interview, whether they ask a question like that or not, I make sure I bring up specific examples of whatever skill we’re talking about. Past performance is an indication of future performance. Good luck on the job hunt!
    Vince recently posted..Life out of controlMy Profile

  2. Kate says:

    Vince-
    You’re totally right! My mom owns a business and it’s really incredible the kinds of things people do when being interviewed. Your tips are very good. As far as arriving early, I’ve heard that you shouldn’t arrive too early, because that looks bad too. More than 15 minutes isn’t great, so I always time my entrance between 5-10 minutes early. I wonder what they would think if I showed up 30 minutes early? Using specific examples is a really important part, and that’s one that I struggle with. As a teacher, it’s been so ingrained in me that we don’t discuss specific confidential information, and that’s a hard habit to break. Also, my experiences happen so many times, I tend to generalize which I think is not great. I talk in general terms about when a parent wasn’t happy with me and how I handled it, it would be much more powerful if I spoke about one specific time. In the interviews I’ve had recently, they ask a lot of behavioral questions which I think are great (and I’m trying to get better, I know I didn’t do a great job when they ask for more clarification, then I generalized). They really show who a person is.
    I feel that I’m bad at interviews. I’ve never interviewed anyone (I used to interview for a job that I had-students who wanted to attend a school, but that was very different). I would be so interested in being a fly on the wall at interviews, just because humans really fascinate me (and their nature). I need to work on coming up with strong specific examples, a real example, as you said. I’ve never met anyone who thinks they are strong at interviews, so that’s interesting.
    Thanks for your insight!
    :) Kate

  3. Vince says:

    Kate,

    I wouldn’t worry about confidentiality. You don’t use names. You can even stay away from ages. “I had one parent that was concerned about X so I did Y.” I speak to members all the time about confidential information and I can sum up the call to give the necessary information but not use names or confidential info. I find it pretty easy to talk about a specific event over generalizing. It’s kind of like storytelling. Best way to practice is to do it with your husband. Think of questions that might get asked based on the specific skills required in the job and then give an example of how you have that skill. Worst case you got good stuff to work into the conversation at the interview. It’s all about the prep work.

    If I arrive more than 15 minutes early (which happens, I’m a little OCD that way) I just wait until about 15 minutes before I’m supposed to be there before I let them know I’ve arrived. I use that time to do last minute prep. I have a real problem with being late so I probably overcompensate and get there too early.
    Vince recently posted..Life out of controlMy Profile

  4. Tracey says:

    Interviewing is a skill that takes time to perfect. People who go off on tangents when asked a question are my pet hate.
    Tracey recently posted..Wow Just… wowMy Profile

  5. Kate says:

    Tracey-
    I’m totally the person who goes off on a tangent!! You would probably hate me! You can tell by my writing that goes all over the place!
    :) Kate

  6. Raven says:

    Those are hilarious!!!

    I would not recommend picking your nose, burping, or farting during the interview.

    Also, don’t bring the beer with you. Leave it in the car for when you’re done.

    Good luck sweetie. I know it has to be hard applying and interviewing for all those jobs. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. My dad is also unemployed right now. He was laid off at the age of 50. He’s having a hell of a time finding a new job.
    Raven recently posted..Some Random Stuff on a Random Tuesday-Random Tuesday Thoughts RebelMy Profile

  7. Kate says:

    Vince-
    Haha-pretend like I’m talking to Josh-I go all over the place (you can probably tell by the way I write). I sort of have a stream of consciousness I go with…which results in me talking FOREVER and possibly making little to no sense. Which would really mess up the time part of it, boring the interview panel is not a great plan! I do like your ideas of practicing though…I’m assuming you must do some interviewing to have such great ideas. I arrive early and chill out and collect myself and go in at the time I think is best anywhere between 5-15 minutes early.
    :) Kate

  8. Kate says:

    Raven-
    LOL- I love yours! When they ask if I would like water, I should ask for some tequila!! And then pick, burp, and fart! I’m sorry to hear about your dad, that sucks the big one. I hope he has some success shortly, it’s really debilitating to not have a job and feel productive, especially when he’s probably looking at drawing his career to a close and enjoy the fruits of his decades of labor. I have faith that bigger and better things shall come for me, I decided yesterday that I’m so sick of relying on everyone else, I need to do something that I’m in control of because I can trust myself more than other people sometimes. I need to grab my destiny with both my hands and make it my bitch!
    :) Kate

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