So I recently was interviewed. And I really appreciated it (I haven’t heard back as of today, so if they turn me down then I may not like them so much anymore). And I would love to work for this company. It would really be an honor and privilege for me.
It was actually an interview to be accepted into a program that would most likely turn into a full time job. Before the interviews they had an information session and it was really nice of them. They gave us information on what to do for an interview. This is a very important skill. I just didn’t realize that anyone over the age of 18 wouldn’t know these things-
*When scheduling the interview, obtain the following information: time, date, and location
*Arrive at least 5 minutes early
*Dress in business attire
It was 2 pages and I’m really not trying to be sarcastic when I say this is really important knowledge and so it is a great service that this particular company is offering to the candidates that were selected to be interviewed.
I have been applying for jobs like C.R.A.Z.Y. and have received a few interviews. All (of course) make me a little nervous and so Josh is kind enough to drop me off and pick me up. In all fairness, I haven’t been to a TON of interviews, but here’s our routine:
me-do I look okay?
Josh-yes, you look very nice.
me- (kiss as I get out of the car) wish me luck.
Maybe they should have training for significant others of people who are getting interviewed. Anyways, to break our very extensive and complicated routine and also to relieve some stress I was explaining to him the tips they had given for attending an interview. Which (quite naturally) led into a fun and sarcastic list making of the training I would do for applicants of what NOT to do for an interview (yes, in fact, I am that mature). Here were some of our thoughts:
*Do you mind if my children play in the corner? I didn’t want to find someone to watch them.
*I partied like CRAZY last night and am still a little drunk…can I have a trash can to vomit into?
*What? I wasn’t supposed to wear pajamas to the interview??!!
*You look familiar…have we slept together?
*Can you repeat that? (Repeat often.)
*How much money will this job put in my pocket?
*You think I stink? I took a shower last week. It’s once a month whether I need it or not.
*I’m not so much into promptness, responsibility, respect, work ethic, self direction, flexibility or anything else that’s not rad. Is that going to be a problem?
*I like to take at least 50 minute breaks each hour…that won’t be a problem will it? I’m totally worth my salary in the other 10.
*What? I’m late? 45 minutes? I’m totally worth the wait.
*What up my homies? You seem like fucking awesome friendzilles to hang with!
*When can I start calling in sick and taking vacation?
*I don’t have to work with you, do I?
*Me llamo is Felipe
*Can you tell me what I just said? I forgot.
Guaranteed to NOT get you hired. Do you have any pearls of wisdom you would like to add?