So this week’s assignment is happiness. What do I do to get to the happiness? How do I cope with a stressful day?
If you asked Josh, he would say “not very well.”
My Serious Answer
Since I had Finn and almost died (are you sick of hearing about that yet?) I was put on a battery of pills. For the past 3 years I have been working very hard to get off any and all medications that are possible. I have come to accept the fact that there won’t be a time in my life when I won’t have to be taking a pill every day.
There are people out there who would rather suffer through a headache than take Tylenol or refuse an epidural when they’re giving birth. There are people think the less drugs they are on, the better. There are some who even SUFFER instead of taking medication.
I am NOT one of those people.
Something I struggle with on a daily basis, that can become very destructive in my life, is anxiety. I was prescribed a medication that would help when I was headed toward having a panic attack. It was magic. I loved it instantly. Slowly I began taking more and more because if it helped soothe my nerves when I had to deal with my family or when I had to contemplate how we are going to pay our bills after I lost my job, then it could really help me because it was a Tuesday or if the day ended with a y.
I figured if a little was a good thing, a LOT would be a GREAT thing!
So, with very hard work and enduring some painful days weeks months, I weaned myself off and I replaced it with knitting.
One day I felt like knitting, I have no idea where it came from. What I found was I enjoy knitting and making something for people I care about. I also love that it helps soothe my anxiety. As far as I can figure it’s because my hands are engaged and busy, but it allows my brain to relax. It’s a huge release of my nervous energy.
I try to knit every day for at least a couple hours. My anxiety used to get worse when went to sleep. My body was ready to sleep, but my mind was free to think of all the things I worry about. If I knit prior to going to bed, I can’t even tell you what a difference it makes. I know it helps me because if I don’t knit (even for one day) my anxiety levels rise quickly and without forgiveness.
Other Things that make me Happy!
My favorite song playing on the radio when I turn on the car.
Smelling delicious cooking smells when I walk into my in-laws house.
Getting a hug from my mom.
Finn telling me he loves me out of the blue.
My hand fitting perfectly into Josh’s (which is always nice and warm…which is nice because I’m cold blooded).
My dogs that are always happy to see me and give me lots of kisses.
Eating out with my sister when we can talk as long as we want as we drink diet coke and grenadine.
The inside of a new sweatshirt.
The smell of freshly mowed grass and bonfires.
When Finn and I have a joke that only we think is funny and we laugh until we are gasping for air.
Leaves falling in autumn and tree branches with snow on them during winter.
The first time it’s perfect weather to roll down the windows and open the sun roof in the spring.
Finding TV shows that both Josh and I like.
When kids give me art or letters they made for me.
Warm sandals that have been sitting in the sun.
Drinking delicious tap water when I’m not expecting it.
Making Finn laugh or teaching him something new or when he’s excited to see me or…well everything with Finn! OH I also LOVE when he thinks I’m not watching and he does the right thing (like pick up something he made fall on the floor).
Wearing pajamas out of the house.
Joking with people who are working and feeling like I’m making their day a little better.
Letting someone into traffic when I don’t HAVE to and they wave at me.
The smell of books and babies.
Watching Josh teach Finn something new.
Watching Finn have fun with his cousins and other people I love.
Seeing Christmas trees lit up in front windows.
Stealing borrowing clothes from people I love and being able to smell them all day.
Eating pancakes for dinner.
Asking Finn a question and either being amazed at how he sees the world or blown away by how smart he is.
Doing nothing except things I want on my birthday.
I could go on and on…but I won’t (YW)! What makes you happy?