Recommended Daily Dose

I updated the movies I’ve seen recently.  You can see them here.

How can people not recognize themselves when staring in a mirror and looking at hypocrisy?

Why is it that it is so much easier to pack things away then to unpack them and put them away?

This does not pertain to Josh’s family or anyone in particular…just found it amusing…

Why is that before I meet the parents (at meet the teacher or conferences) I break out like a teenager?

A sign when you’re texting too much is when you hit the space bar twice and expect a period to appear.

Tired of forcing your kids to bed?  Just “race” your child to their bedroom and they’ll be begging you to go to bed.

I find it very sad that I was shocked when a young black teenager went to give money to a homeless person.

Breathing in and out’s a blessing, can’t you see

I’m alive and well

And today, you know, that’s good enough for me

-Kenny Chesney & Dave Matthews

My name is Kate Hanke and this is my website.

You can click here for more information about me and this website as well as the “cast of characters.”

You will find stories here about our family, life, and thoughts about what is going on in this great and complicated world in which we live.

Please read below for our stories.  I left the light on for you!

Ngor’s family was staying with us because their apartment got flooded from a sprinkler.  They are from Sudan and one of the best parts of having them for guests for awhile was hearing their stories of immigration.  A friend of theirs came over and was telling stories from when she first came from Sudan and was living in Virginia.

She has 9 children…2 sets of twins.  Personally, I don’t know how she does it.  Anyways, when she moved to the U.S. and was pregnant with one of her children her husband went off on a trip and she was left to herself, not speaking any English and not being able to drive.  She had seen her husband drive and thought it didn’t look too hard so she thought she’d give it a whirl.  She took her car out and decided maybe she should wait for her husband so she parked her car in the middle of the highway.  A black man stopped to help her.  When she was in the refugee camp they told her that any African Americans in the U.S. will shoot her.  Keep in mind that Sudanese people have the darkest skin I have ever seen.  So she was terrified and ran out of the car and back home, locked the door, shut the curtains, and hid.  He followed her home and knocked on her door saying that he knew she was in there (since he had followed her).  When he figured out that she wasn’t going to answer the door he said he had locked the car for her and was putting her key through her mail drop.

She also told us a story about her first Halloween where she couldn’t understand (and was very scared) because there were a bunch of people dressed up as ghosts and such that kept ringing her doorbell.  The last gem she shared with us was about toys that made noise that also scared her, because she had never come across that before.

When I was in the car with Ngor’s mom she was asking me if our dogs were nice because dogs in Sudan would run wild and bite people.  If you got bitten by a dog you had to get 25 shots in your stomach so she was very afraid of dogs and she had passed this fear onto her children.  I get this.  I totally get this.  When I was about 6 (give or take a year or 2) my mom was farm sitting and I had gotten up to go play on the haystacks and a sheep kept bucking me down.  I am terrified of sheep to this day and I won’t be around one if I have anything to say about it.

In Sudan she had heard that Americans are crazy about their pets.  Which for many, is true.  She had the idea that all people who owned dogs paid hundreds of dollars every month to insure their pets.  I said we didn’t.  Anyways, rightly so, she was very afraid for her kids interacting with our dogs.  By the time they left all the kids had bonded with the dogs.  Ngor (the oldest) went so far as to also feel really comfortable with my mom’s dog who is as big as my lab, but black.  For some reason, big black dogs are very scary looking.

I take my hat off to anyone who is brave enough to face their fears, because it’s never easy.  You won’t see me around sheep anytime soon.

I’ve been meaning to write about working moms vs. stay at home moms for almost a year now.  I watched a show where a stay-at-home mom had the audacity to say “if you don’t have time to raise your children (stay at home with them), maybe you shouldn’t have them.”  Now I’m watching a show with married women telling single women they can’t be truly happy unless they’re married and have kids.  I’ve also been in the middle of arguments about women taking their husband’s names and/or being called Ms. vs. Mrs.

Why can’t I make my choices and you make your choices and we can support one another?  Why is the value of my decision based on your decision?  I can’t feel good about being married and having a son unless you are also married and have children?  If there is a “recipe” for happiness, I certainly haven’t seen it.  And what makes one person happy is not the same as what makes the next person happy.

When women “burned their bra’s” and fought for the right to vote and equality I believe it was for ALL women to make a choice that was best for themselves, their families, and their kids.  I don’t think it was just for “working mom’s,”  “single women,” etc.

Can anyone say duh.  I can’t believe we’re really still having this conversation.  Last time I checked unhappiness didn’t discriminate.  Unhappiness happens for women, men, married, single, parents, all religions, races, and ethnicities.  I could go on and on!  What are your choices?  Do you think others should make the same choices?

My sister and I could not be more different in almost all the choices we have made (except we are both teachers) and we couldn’t love and respect each other any more.  Right now Jess says she doesn’t want to get married and have kids.  I will support her if she does or doesn’t.

The only problem I have is people who do things because others pressure them into it and people that judge others.  Anyone who wants to tell me that I shouldn’t be a mom because I work can suck it.  I’m a better mom because I work and I’m a better person because I’m a mom.  And I like to be called Mrs. Joshua Hanke in formal situations.  Those are my choices, the ones that make me happy.  And those that don’t like my choices, try living your own life and being happy with YOUR choices.

It’s like people coining the term “pro-life.”  That is implying that the other side is “anti-life.”  Which does not classify me correctly.  I am pro-choice and that implies the opposite is anti-choice (which I believe more correctly defines the other side).  I am pro-choice about everything.  You have the right to choose what you want for your life.  It’s your right to make those choices and stand in the power of your choice.  Let’s all try being supportive of one another instead of trying to cut each other down.

I was laying in bed the other night wishing I started this website a long time ago because I try to remember things about my life (and the amazing one I lived prior to having Finn…now it’s amazing…but in a different way).  And I had and AMAZING life…if only I could remember it.  I can’t remember anything.  I think my memory followed my placenta out when Finn was born (sorry for the horrible mental image…I just couldn’t help myself).  Although if I was writing when I started dating Josh all I would have written would have been:

Oh he’s so cute.

I really like him.

I wonder if he likes me?

Very cute.

I think I’ll marry him.

Maybe we should go on a 2nd date.

Nope, definitely ready to marry him.

Why is he running away from me?

He even looks cute from the back.

I think he’s trying to give me a sign that he wants me to be more clingy and desperate.

Maybe if I handcuff myself to him he will love me more.

Surprised he married me?  Not more than me.  But now he’s stuck with my crazy ass FOREVER (you should hear me maniacally laughing in the distance).

Now on a tangent you won’t understand until the next paragraph…I got my new iphone while my sister was here (yes, the best thing in my life, a very close third behind my husband and child…if you don’t have one, stop reading and go buy one now).  She took my new phone and left me a note “Jessica loves me.”  I keep it.  I just like knowing it’s there.  Do you ever keep messages like that?  I get it from my mom (which is who I blame my craziness on), she has 2,467 messages saved on her phone from me and my sister.

When Josh called me the first 2 times he left a message and he was my first official boyfriend and I was convinced it wouldn’t last and I would be alone forever (don’t feel sorry for me, I was going to become a nun…or else a crazy cat dog and snake lady).  I kept those 2 messages FOREVER (and I won’t tell you how many times I listened to them with a dreamy expression on my face thinking about my future husband because if I did those peeps with the straight jacket would come for me).  MONTHS later he came over and was listening for a message and heard them (yes, it was when I had an tangible answering machine).  And yet he still continued dating me AND married me.  Now, I ask you, who is the crazy one?